January 1st, 2010

(no subject)

Still not ready to do or say much about the last month.
I dread seeing anyone that hasn't already heard the news.
It is just an awkward conversation that I am not capable of stomaching much.
Thought that after 4 weeks, I would be able to talk about my father's death a bit more and try to make my peace with it...

Then my mother got sent to the hospital because some stupid doctor fucked up something as simple as Botox Therapy by ramming a needle into my mom's left lung. If that wasn't bad enough, they sent her home. If I had gone to the garage to do the cleaning I had intended to do, who knows if I would even have a mother today. Of course nothing is easy...after they got her lung back to normal...got the call the next morning about an artery that was surrounded by scar tissue from previous therapeutic injections was torn by her lung collapsing.
Now, she is in the hospital on New Year's Eve by herself sleeping.
Sadly, my sister and I are now worried about brain damage. She has been on a lot of meds, but given how long her lung wasn't working (the paramedic said he heard absolutely no sound from the lung), we are worried. Her stroke already weakened her short term memory, but so far we have had to explain what happened to her a couple times and she has repeated stories to us a few times now...so we are really worried and hoping that it is just the meds.
The doctor's office even called me this morning to check up on my mom. You see, I called them to ask about what happened and they had no idea and said they would get back to me in a couple hours...well, I didn't have the patience to wait and luckily I didn't, because that couple hours turned into almost a couple days. I chewed the lady out for all the additional stress her clinic added to our life and all she said was, "I'm sorry" and hung up the phone.

My mom asked me yesterday, "why did this have to happen to me?"
She trusted the doctors. She was finally starting to show improvement and now it seems to have been taken away from her and at a time when we need her to be strong until my sister and I can work out a way to take care of her on our salaries for 4 years until she turns at least 50, but could be as long as 55 or 60 so she can collect any kind of social security.


Anyway... I heard a few fireworks go off...

Happy New Year mom...